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Creating Trust in the Family

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011

One of the most important aspects of any relationship is trust and for someone who is a step parent or about to become one, this is an area where they would need to work on.

At the centre of a relationship like this are children who have been introduced to someone new who will be living with them from now on.

For the new family network to function there has to be a lot of work done in order to produce trust from and to the step parents.

One of the first things parents say to their children is that they will always love them and that the introduction of the new person into their lives does not mean that their love for them will diminish in any way.

Patience

As a step parent, you would have to exercise a lot of patience in order to get your step child to trust you. It is as simple as that, your step child is not going to trust you straight away and it is something you have to be prepared for.

The child’s personality

Understanding the personality of the child could help in you in gaining their trust.

If you have a step child that is the shy – that always clings to the other parent, it may take some time to win their trust.

The child may be warming herself to you without you realising it just because she is shy.

Getting involved in activities

By spending time with your step children and engaging in activities they like would help to create a bond between you.

Talk to them

Depending on the age of your step children, you may want to have a chat with them every now and again. One of the things you may want to establish from the word go is that you are not here to replace their biological parent and that you want to be their friends.

If they prefer not to talk to you – don’t get all upset about it. You just have to be persistent and try another time – but give it a bit of space before you try again.

Your relationship with your partner

Another way a step parent could gain the trust of the step children is by the way they treat their partner. If you express your love to your partner openly for the children to see, this could help them understand why their parent got into another relationship. For their own parent’s happiness, they might begin to warm towards you since you make their parent happy.

Creating trust in a step family is not an overnight job, but with a lot of hard work and consistency by all parties, this most certainly is achievable.

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